On Apples

Red Delicious:
3.5/10

• Red? Yes. It has a gorgeous, deep, and consistent crimson hue. Delicious? No. The taste is barely present, only a hint. No depth of flavor, just a whisper of bland apple sweetness. The texture is soft and sad, with a bite more chewy than crispy, and a tough skin. The juciness is a minor plus. But what of it? The red delicious should be left behind in the produce bin. (2025.10.27)

Opal:
6.75/10

• One look at an Opal is enough to know it’s a special apple. Golden Delicious is a pale husk compared to its bright yellow progeny. Whether the russeting around the stem is a gross defect or an expression of natural beauty is up for debate. Sitting in a bag untouched, these apples beg to be eaten with their strong, fresh, and floral scent. Taking a bite, you’ll immediately notice the juicy flesh and unique flavor. It’s sweet, delicate, just a little sour, and noticeably reminiscent of pear. The sweetness takes on an almost creamy quality, like a ripe banana—or is that the yellow getting in my head? The flavor is certainly muted, but not at all bland. There are great notes of other fruits, notably grapes, and a drizzle of honey. If not for the slightly chewy skin and underwhelming texture, this apple would be a top contender, but its depth of flavor is still enough on its own to set the Opal apart. (2025.10.25)

Empire:
5.25/10

• This apple is very small and round, with a dark purple-red hue, striking against the monotony of most grocery store apples. The flesh is light with a slightly yellow-green color. Smells grassy and tart. Tastes like it smells, a standard sour apple with just enough sweetness. Moderately crunchy, a little on the soft and mealy side (no surprise for a McIntosh descendant). The juciness is good, but the skin is very chewy. What it gains on the McIntosh with its firmer flesh, it loses very quickly with its leathery skin. (2025.10.16)

Jazz:
4.75/10

• There’s not much to say about this very normal apple. A tall, orangish-red fruit with small green lenticels. Almost no scent. Overall, very bland, and the little taste it has is grassy and bitter. The texture is mealy, and the skin is tough. Some bites indicate potential for flavor, but hardly enough to be described. It also browns fast. (2025.10.15)

Rave / First Kiss:
6/10

• Unlike the last review of the Rave apple, the specimen in question is of the First Kiss variety, exclusively Minnesota-grown. The apple has a visibly smooth skin, strong red with patches yellow-orange. Immediately upon cutting the apple in half, everyone in the room will get a smell of cider. It’s easily the strongest-smelling apple I’ve encountered. The skin is slightly tough, and the flesh has an average crunch, slightly chewy. The juciness is good, and the flavor is an okay balance of sweet and sour. None of the chemical taste as in the Rave. Some of the cidery smell makes its way to the flavor, but not much. This bag was a little mealy, but given that this is an early-ripening apple, I might have just been late. (2025.10.13)

• The Rave is a bit unusual, but the texture is wonderful. Skin not too chewy, with a good crisp bite. But the flavor? It’s slightly tart, but mostly sweet. Almost too sweet. Weird chemical fruit flavor and bitterness. Tastes somewhat artificial to me. It could be so good, but that flavor is not pleasant. (2025.09.29)

Hunnyz:
6.5/10

• Hunnyz stand out at first as a very prominently dotted apple. The lenticels pop against its red-yellow skin. Take a bite, and at first, it’s crunchy and crisp. But then it gets chewy, almost as if the entire apple was core. As a core eater myself, I’m not sure that’s a bad thing, but it’s not great either. The skin is background noise next to the texture of the flesh. A good comparison is Jicama, or a raw potato. To add to its uniquness, the Hunnyz tastes much like red grape, and the aftertaste lingers pleasantly. (2025.10.13)

Honeycrisp:
7.5/10

• While at first I found the Honeycrisp overrated, underwhelming, and not as sweet as the name would imply, Later honeycrisps have changed my mind. A solid sweet-sour apple, and mostly consistent in quality. Only its basic flavor keeps the honeycrisp from achieving a greater ranking. (2025.10.06)

Cortland:
5.75/10

• The Cortland has a wide, flattened shape, similar to the McIntosh. The skin is smooth with vertical stripes in hues of red, ranging from a deep crimson to orangish pinks on a canvas of yellow-green. Cutting through its tough skin, you’re met by remarkably pale white flesh. It’s a juicy apple, although it inherits the mushy flesh of the McIntosh. The flavor is mostly tart, though notes of orange and cranberry are present. Its sweetness comes through at the end of the bite. In this particular specimen, one quarter stood out significantly sweeter. It tasted of honey, and the flesh was chewier and less pale. (2025.10.05)

Golden Delicious:
4.5/10

• An average, boring apple. Not much to say for flavor. Slightly sweet, slightly tart, mostly just mild overall. Tastes like unsweetened applesauce. Similar to the Fuji but without the disgustingly overpowering, in-your-face sweetness. Thick skin but not too chewy. The texture of this one was unique. Somewhat mealy and grainy, but the bite starts snappy. Not one I’d buy unless you like apples with ignorable flavor. (2025.10.04)

Fuji:
2/10

• Bland, mushy, horrible flavor. Tastes like a bomb of white sugar with no depth. FAR too sweet. Aftertaste lingered for nearly an hour. Makes me sad. (2025.10.03)

Snapdragon:
6.75/10

• This is a really good sweet apple, but it still has enough tart flavor to keep me interested. Super crispy and snappy, like the name suggests. No weird aftertaste. Has some pleasant flavors in the back that I can’t place. (2025.10.02)

Sugarbee:
3/10

• Super bland apart from an off, sickening taste, like honey if you took away all the sweetness. Tastes like a bland, unripe pear. Also has an odd bitter and chemically flavor. The texture is average, skin is fine. The flesh is oddly yellow. (2025.10.01)

McIntosh:
5.5/10

• Not bad, not great. Average. Too mushy for my taste, and the skin is a little chewy. Redeemingly, the skin does have a pop when you bite, as if it were stretched tight over the apple. The flavor is predominantly tart, but it has a decent amount of sweetness. Would be great if it weren’t so soft and the skin weren’t so tough.
  • Elle Lowe, Visiting Critic: “It tasted like green apple candy, and transported me to Halloween.” (2025.09.28)

Sweetango:
9/10

• An amazing and very flavorful apple. I had two today, and there was a lot of variation. The first one was punchy and tart with a decent sweetness. Crispy and very tasty. A new favorite for sure. The second one was even more crispy, but the sour flavor was almost completely gone and replaced wholly by sweet. A very good apple. Also, a pretty apple. I preferred the intense first apple, but the second one was still on par with some of the better sweet apples I’ve had a chance to taste. (After finishing the bag, I can say that the rest were as good as the first.) (2025.09.27)

Kanzi:
6.5/10

• It’s alright. Moderate crunch. Very dense and juicy. Sweet in some bites, bland in others, and occasionally bitter, maybe from the skin. The skin is also slightly tough. (2025.09.21)

Sweetie:
4.5/10

• Not good. Mushy with a tough skin. Not very sweetie. Bland. (2025.09.20)

Envy:
6.25/10

• A decent choice for sweet apple fans. Not so much if you like flavor. Excellent styrofoam crunch and okay skin. Delicate sweet flavor, which can be too delicate, often bland. A honey aftertaste if you’re lucky. Not narly as tasty as it is beautiful. For the price, I find the Envy slightly underwhelming. (2025.09.20)

Pink Lady:
7.25/10

• Probably what Granny Smith was like before she turned an old sour hag. (2025.09.19)

Cosmic Crisp:
7/10

• Very crisp indeed. Extra points for consistency. It has nearly the perfect juicy and crispy texture, but I just wish it would pack a little bit more flavor. It needs more sour flavors and more depth with the sweetness. Still my stable staple. Extra points for browning resistance. (2025.09.19)

Gala:
5/10

• You know what a Gala tastes like. Eh. Soft and boring. (2025.09.19)

See Rankings

Apples are evaluated only by their quality as a snack. Plain, uncooked, sometimes refrigerated. Unless otherwise noted, all specimens were purchased from grocery stores in Texas.

The birth of this page may be in response to judgement of my once-uneducated apple preferences. Never should the apple consumer consume apples blindly. Genuine apple criticism is the only true path to a riper age.

— Eric Moore, 2025.10.04